"Dave's Hints and Tips for The ProvNov: Secrets the Experts won't tell you"
I’m clearly not fit for Mentoring, but I’m willing to generously share some of my lessons-learned-the-hard-way by a freshly-minted Novice. This is free of charge to all ProvNov’s:
· DO NOT try to knock out your Prov Nov races with an EX250 on tracks you’ve never been on before in your life. And it doesn’t work to try to learn them on the night before by watching Danny Kelsey’s GoPro feeds on Youtube.
· Nancy is not “connected” so don’t talk about it. Just understand if you piss her off, she’ll just smile sweetly and say “I’ll fix it for you”, but then your trash collection might be mysteriously overlooked the next 3 Wednesdays in a row. You also can’t bribe her with a $20 for a better spot in the grids.
· Don't try to watch Netflix by connecting directly to the CMRANet during the 6 hour endurance races. It doesn't work, so stop trying.
· There is no “Jim Whitten”. Its Tony Stark dressed up in a Jim Whitten suit, so don’t try to do what he does. No idea why he’s trying to infiltrate the CMRA by impersonating a real estate tycoon. Just don’t follow him too closely when he’s driving his Aston-Martin - it can deploy stuff.
· If Linz says you’re going 31.4 mph in the pits, then you’re going 31.4 mph in the pits.
· Don't assume motards are all slow just because they look stupid. Motard Racers are natural-born liars, and so they like the idea of whooping your a$s on something that looks like they just stole it off a bum under a bridge. And don’t accept candy from any of them. Or play golf with them.
· DO NOT leave your bike out in a rain-storm at ECR overnight before a track day, then hop right on it without checking the lower fairing for rain water. You’ll crash in turn 3 on your own wet-spot and pull your stupid groin. (Contributed by Mr. Sean Brown, Comp #184)
· Always spring for good rubber. But don’t ever say it that way at the tire Vendor's trailer.
· Most important: If you crash during one of your ProvNov races, the sun still comes up in the morning.